"Bomber" Wells, a spin bowler and great character, played for Gloucestershire and Nottinghamshire. He used to bat at No.11 since one couldn't bat any lower. Of him, they used to paraphrase Denis Compton's famous words describing an equally inept runner:
"When he shouts 'YES" for a run, it is merely the basis for further negotiations!"
Incidentally, Compton was no better. John Warr said, of Compton " He was the only person who would call you for a run and wish you luck at the same time."
Anyway, when Wells played for Gloucestershire, he had an equally horrendous runner as the No.10. During a county match, horror of horrors - both got injured.
*Both* opted for runners when it was their turn to bat. Bomber played a ball on the off, called for a run, forgot he had a runner and ran himself. Ditto at the other end. In the melee, someone decided that a second run was on. Now we had *all four* running. Due to the confusion and constant shouts of "YES" "NO", eventually, *all* of them ran to the same end.
Note - at this point in time, the entire ground is rolling on the floor laughing their behinds out. One of the fielders - brave lad - stops laughing for a minute, picks the ball and throws down the wicket at the other end. Umpire Alec Skelding looks very seriously at the four and calmly informs them " One of you buggers is out. I don't know which. *You* decide and inform the bloody scorers!"
(Incident described in "From the Pavilion End" by Harold "Dickie" Bird)
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